Ok everyone i had a change of heart hehe.. well I desided i am still gonna come on here because i feel like im missing something without DA....also i desided im gonna start writing poems agian i mean i gotta do something in class since its way boring... but ya im so excited daryl is going to do a photo shoot of me and then kc will be in some too!! oh yea me and kc are BACK TOGETHER and i knew in my heart we would be.. ok im full of shit i was like depressed since we broke up and had no hope haha.. but now im happy so its all ok but ya so when me and kc first went out he was really shy and so we never did anything (sexuall) which for those of you who know me thats weird for me... but ya now its different and hes not shy and im going to this house this weekend so you know what that means were gonna haha haha... but ya so hmm.. i've been feeling some what shitty about myself im slightly addicted to coke..now im having all these problems staying happy because when im on it everything is so good then i come down and you come down so hard and everything just SUCKs!! also im so freakin broke i've spent over $1000 dollars on it and its just RRR... i feel so dumb now but last night i admited it to kc which made me feel better about it cuz hes gonna help me stop!!! but you know what is so weird is just the other day i was temming one of my good friends that i feel good about how I look this year like i finally see myself as pretty but yet now once agian im freakin out about looking perfect and im dieting well acctually im not eatting at all.. but thats a different story.. so what the hell is wrong with me its like i can never just settle and be happy.. its so frusterating!! but oh well!! hmm well today these girls came and told us we cant be excahnge students in australia but they are full of shit because im going to go over there and do that this year.. which now me and kc are back together so i dont know if i wanna leave but its a great chance so i probably will.. but anyways i g2g i love you all so much ttyl bye byes <3 ash